Tip # 2 – Part 2 – Pre-Planning Overreactions – Ivan’s Example
Lesson 3 Module 1
(Click 3 dots to download MP3)
Sign up below to my Personal Growth newsletter.
Alright, so we understand some things about WORRY, lets take a look at some PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS to reducing worry in the NOW.
SOLUTION:
1. OVERREACTIONS DATA COLLECTION
Let your overreactions happen naturally at the beginning of this exercise as you need some data first before implementing a better response.
You want to gather this specific data in the moments of WORRY:
- Thoughts (write 3-7 of specific thoughts or thought patterns)
- Urges to act (what specifically you want to do in the NOW moment)
- Feelings (what feelings are running through you, 1-6 of them)
- Physical location (where are you geographically?)
- People (what people are beside you? Do you know them? How many?
- Time of the day (morning, noon, evening, night)
- What are you doing? (working? with friends? church?, be specific)
What you want to do is look for patterns. It could be something that repeats in parallel with something else. Like for me it would be like this:
A – life is shit, I need to get out, stupidity everywhere
B – Leave the city, watch movies at home
C – angry, lost, abandoned, disgusted, unworthy
D – work, home
E – co-workers (Robert, Das, Erwin)
F – 1pm, 3pm, 5pm
G – working
You can either email this info to yourself or write a memo on your phone. This way you have access to it all the time.
One thing you need to keep in mind is that in my example the JOB seems to be causing the problem, but there could be other things in life that could be causing problems. It’s just comes out during the working day, since you have more time to think about life.
2. INSTALL NEW REACTIONS a 3 Step Process:
1. Identify 1-3 places where you can go to feel better (coffee shop, hair salon, gym, etc.)
2.What will you eat once you get there? You can eat at home or at the location. The first reason why you want to eat is because it will distract you from worrying and second is it will give your body new fuel to produce SEROTONIN (from carbs) and DOPAMINE (from meat) right away so you will feel better.
3.Engage in a feel-good activity - this can be individual or with other people, they key is that it has to initiate good emotions inside of you. Going to talk to a friend, working on a special gift for a significant other, playing volleyball, building a website, etc.
Once you have done this exercise, then you need to actually implement it and see how you feel using the same metrics for data collection as before.
For new overreactions, just try to be present in the moment so that you can alter your behaviour (activity) or what you say verbally to someone in an instant. Sometimes, one bad overreaction can cost you a job or a relationship when you really did not intend for such outcome to happen.
3.MONITOR NEW OVERREACTION STRATEGIES
The goal at this stage is to see if newly implemented pre-planned strategies are working for you. You should allow one full month of practice before making any changes.
Please understand that this is for short-term brain balancing, you may have bigger problems in life or emotional trauma from childhood or teenage years. So, if you want to fix the BIG STUFF, that requires a different strategy which I call the STRUCTURAL APPROACH. In which you actually need to change your physical location, your income source(s), your relationships, your beliefs, your workout routine and so on. Basically what you are trying to do here is ALIGN from INSIDE OUT. Meaning, INSIDE (is who you are as a person) and OUTSIDE (is how society views you). First, you have to firmly stick to who you are INSIDE and based on this select people, places, activities, jobs/businesses to create the OUTSIDE which comes second.
By aligning to YOUR TRUE SELF and taking action, you update the EMOTIONAL ARCHIVE inside of you. As this emotional archiving happens over time it creates the feeling of NEW YOU which then you brain automatically projects forward.
Only when you did it INSIDE (first) and OUTSIDE (second) and began living your authentic self, you would become a more happier and relaxed individual. It is at this point you would feel truly happy.
However, it does not stop here, you would need to continue to improve in all aspects of life as you move forward to maintain the feeling of harmonious positive growth. This is just how evolution works and if you want to thrive you need to continue improving at your own rhythm towards your own significant purpose.
If you want to contact me, you can do so below.